Some days are simply worse than others. A day can turn especially bad when you just feel as if you’re “not good enough” for anyone or anything. In other words, just “not good enough.” Here are a few things to remember when those feelings come around.
1. There Really Is More Right With You Than Is Wrong
Time for a little pep talk here. The truth of the matter is that while it may feel like it, you don’t screw up anymore than anyone else. Cut yourself some slack; you are as human as the rest of us and you need to remember that mistakes are part of life. Time to stop comparing yourself with others and live your best life.
2. Accept The “Now” And Move On
There is a certain power to accepting the circumstances and having the mind-set to carry on and move forward. Give yourself the gift of forgiving yourself from the mistake made, the stutter, or the stumble. Forgiveness begins at home and you really should accept the situation as a temporary one in order to move forward.
3. Be Gentle With Yourself
Max Ehrmann wrote, “Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.” Gentler, more honest words have ever, ever been written. Psychologists now claim that a shocking secret to success is indeed being kind to yourself. The secret is to value yourself as much as, but no more than, you do others.
4. Focus On Progress Rather Than Perfection
People plagued with the ideal of perfectionism, believe it or not, is a stopping point. The attempt to be perfect, rather than driving you forward, is punishing and stops a forward momentum. Instead, focus on progress made in order to continue down the path of success. Certainly it is not easy, and it’s an issue that many struggle with. The fact is, that no one or thing is ever perfect.
5. Make A Decision To Stop Feeling Terrible
Shockingly, the decision not to perpetuate negative self-talk can be a boost and a boon to negative self-reflection. It takes the mind-set to believe that you are worthy of the challenge and in so being good enough to work through the situation, whatever it may be. In this way, you empower yourself to continue onward.
6. Stay Positive And Move Forward
This is indeed very difficult. It is so very easy to think only of the negative and stay down in the wicked rut. There really is power in positive thinking. Instead of the woulda-coulda-shoulda, think of the can do and will do. Positive thinking puts power in your mind to act instead of staying stuck mulling over the circumstance or the mistake made.
7. Try A Different Angle
Need that passing grade? Or perhaps this is something that simply has to be done and cannot be ignored or move forward from. Maybe it is a task that has to be done, but you feel it is demeaning or degrading. That’s ok. Sometimes changing the way you think of a difficult task may be enough. Or use a different technique for getting the work done.
8. Find A Way To Love Yourself
The key to loving yourself is accepting yourself as you are. Of course, this does not mean not attempting to improve yourself. It does mean accepting yourself for who you are, accepting responsibility for the mistake you’ve made, and moving on. It is important not to stop from any one given mistake, but instead to keep going.
9. Stop Comparing Yourself To Other People
There can only be one you, warts and all. The truth of the matter is that while we are acutely aware of our mistakes, we rarely see the mistakes of others. We do see their achievements and successes. And unless we live with them, we tend to see others only when they are at their best. No one can be at their best all day, every day. They make mistakes for better or worse, the same as anyone else.
10. Learn To Appreciate What You Have
Certainly you have more than some and less than others. It may help to keep in mind that some people do not have as much as you, even if you only have a little. Get to know someone who has less than you, through volunteering or simply talking with others you may not normally talk to. Practice gratitude by reaching out to the people who have been important in your life.
11. The Truth Is, Life Really Isn’t Fair
And such a cruel truth it is. People who don’t deserve a terminal illness get sick and die. Others have trouble follow them around like an unruly puppy. Unfortunately, there isn’t a whole lot you or anyone else can do about this reality. Get to know others and lean on them when possible. Talk with people who share the same burden to learn how to cope and to help you through life’s tasks.
12. Some Things Are Not As They Appear
Due to the fact that we are really voyeur’s in other people’s lives, we have no idea how they have accomplished one thing or another. For example, one person may have the required experience for a job, while another had the right connections. The fact is, we do not know and have no way of knowing how a person is maneuvering through his or her life.
13. Change What You Can And Learn To Accept What Can’t Be Changed
Take control of areas of your life when you can. A good place to start is how you problem-solve or think about a situation. You can control how a problem is approached and how you will deal with the problem. While nothing can change the past, there are steps you can take toward a brighter future. What are the goals you can begin today toward where you want to be?
14. Don’t Forget To Get Started
It is very easy to simply stop forward momentum and dwell on all that has gone wrong. Make the commitment to change, whatever that change may be. Keep a journal as progress is made. In this way, you can physically see the progress being made. It is always a good thing to break the process into smaller steps while advancing toward a specific goal.