Here's the Best Way to Apologize
科学研究表明，正确有效的道歉应该包含六个要素，快和小编一起来看看是哪六个吧~We've all been there — after you've given what seems to you like a heartfelt apology, the otherperson just doesn't buy it. Well, science is here to help: An effective apology has six keyelements, according to a new study.我们都有过这种经历——在你似乎真心诚意地道过歉后，对方就是不买账。那么，科学在这里派上了用场：一项新研究表明，一次有效的道歉包含六个关键要素。Researchers found that six things increase the effectiveness of an apology: an expression ofregret, an explanation of what went wrong, an acknowledgement of responsibility, adeclaration of repentance, an offer of repair and a request for forgiveness.研究者发现：六种要素会增强道歉的效力：表达歉意、解释错在哪里、承担责任、表明悔改之心、提出补救措施并请求对方的原谅。"Apologies really do work, but you should make sure you hit as many of the six key elementsas possible," Roy Lewicki, the lead author of the study and a professor emeritus ofmanagement and human resources at The Ohio State University, said in a statement.“道歉确实有用，但你应该确保你的道歉中尽可能多地包含这六种要素，”罗伊·勒维克，这份研究的第一作者、俄亥俄州立大学管理与人力资源名誉教授在一份声明中如是说道。That said — in case you don't have time to work in all six — the researchers also found thatseveral of the elements carried more weight than others, according to the study, publishedTuesday (April 12) in the journal Negotiation and Conflict Management Research.
即便如此，这份4月12日发表在《协商与冲突管理研究》杂志上的研究表明，研究者发现，万一你没有时间准备好这六种要素，有几个比其它的更加重要。"Our findings show that the most important component [of an apology] is an acknowledgementof responsibility," Lewicki said. "Say it is your fault, that you made a mistake," he said.“我们的发现表明（道歉）最重要的要素是承担责任，”勒维克说。“就说是你的错，你犯了个错误，”他说。The second most effective element is the offer to repair the wrong that was done, according tothe study. This assures the person you are apologizing to that "you're committing to takeaction to undo the damage," Lewicki said.这份研究还表明，第二个最有效的要素是主动提出弥补过错。这会让你所道歉的对象相信，“你承诺会采取措施弥补损失，” 勒维克说。The least important aspect, on the other hand, was the request for forgiveness, theresearchers found.另一方面，研究者发现，最不重要的方面就是请求原谅。In the study, the researchers conducted two separate experiments with a total of 755 people.在这份研究中，研究者做了两个独立的实验，共有755人参与。
In the first experiment, 333 adults read an apology that contained either one, three or all six ofthe apology elements, and rated how effective, credible and adequate they considered theapology to be. They were informed beforehand how many apology elements were included inthe apology they were reading, according to the study.
在第一个实验中，有333个成年人读了一封道歉信，信里包含了四个因素中的一个、三个或六个，然后评出道歉信的有效性、可信性和诚意度。该实验中，参与者在读信前已经被事先告知了道歉信中包含的因素个数。In the second experiment, 422 college students were asked to read an apology that includedanywhere from one to all six of the apology elements, and then they were asked to rate theapology. In this experiment, however, the participants weren't told how many elements wouldbe included in the apology.在第二个试验中，422名大学生被请来读一封道歉信，信中可能包含六个道歉要素中的一个、两个、三个、四个、五个或六个，然后这些大学生需要给道歉信评分。然而，在这个实验中，参与者事先并不知道道歉信中包含多少个因素。
In both experiments, the researchers found that the more elements the apology contained, themore effective it was rated.在两个试验中，研究者都发现，道歉信中包含的因素越多，道歉信越有效。One caveat that the researchers noted, however, is that in the study, the participants weremerely reading apologies, not hearing them in person.但是，研究者做出的一个说明是，在研究中，参与者只是在读道歉信，而没有亲耳听到道歉。
"Clearly, things like eye contact and appropriate expression of sincerity are important whenyou give a face-to-face apology," Lewicki said.